Sat & Sun 9/25-26
Since I've been feeling better, I'm starting to notice I'm thinking less about my immediate symptoms and becoming more emotional. Friday night and Saturday morning were rough for me, but for no good reason. I think I've been avoiding the coping process until I have real answers, but when I do get caught up thinking about my future with Celiac, it can be depressing. I actually burst into tears after a trip to the grocery store for lunch on Saturday. Avi was freaked out. I told him not to worry and that it was just a release of pent up frustration, but he was still concerned. I think it's natural. Sad, but natural. I mean, how can the grocery store not be frustrating and even depressing for someone in my position?
I should go to Whole Foods and check out their selection. I looked online and they have a 20 page list of gluten-free products just for the location nearest me.
I try to keep myself busy this weekend, which is relatively easy because I'm feeling good physically. I'm starting to realize that I hadn't been reaching out to friends in a long time. I think they don't realize how scary and difficult it's been over the last year or so. But that's certainly not their fault. I decide I need to make an actual effort show my weaknesses to people I care about. That's what they're there for after all. Why have I built up such a wall? Maybe because I was trying to ignore it all, hoping it would go away with brain power.
Avi cooked lasagna to keep making sure I'm getting my gluten. It's very tasty! I ask Avi if it's a new recipe, and he says no. Maybe it's just because I haven't had pasta in a couple weeks. I also had a beer and some other gluteny-filled goodies at a tailgating party on Saturday. I didn't even feel sick! So it's just a balancing act, for now.